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I got this in an email, figured it could get a fewlaughs:"We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Nowhere are the rules from the male side.Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl.If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hearus complaining about you leaving it down.1. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or thechanging of thetides. Let it be.1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never goingto think of itthat way.1. Crying is blackmail.1. Ask for what you want... Let us be clear on thisone: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do notwork! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!1. YES and NO are perfectly acceptable answers toalmost every question.1. Come to us with a problem only if you want helpsolving it. That'swhat we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.See a doctor.1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in anargument. In fact, all comments become null and voidafter 7 days.1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secretgirls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.1. If something we said could be interpreted two ways,and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meantthe other one.1. You can either ask us to do something or tell ushow you want it done. Not both. If you already knowbest how to do it, just do it yourself.1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have tosay during commercials.1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions andneither do we.1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows defaultsettings. Peach,for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin isalso a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," wewill act likenothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is justnot worth the hassle.1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,expect an answer you don't want to hear.1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anythingyou wear is fine. Really.1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless youare prepared todiscuss such topics as hockey, food, or sex.1. You have enough clothes.1. You have too many shoes.1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
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