August 12, 200619 yr Points to Ponder.... Can you cry under water? -------------------------------------------------------------------- How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? -------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. . but it's only a penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? -------------------------------------------------------------------- Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? -------------------------------------------------------------------- Why does a round pizza come in a square box? -------------------------------------------------------------------- What disease did cured ham actually have? -------------------------------------------------------------------- How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? -------------------------------------------------------------------- Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours? -------------------------------------------------------------------- If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? -------------------------------------------------------------------- Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? -------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? -------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural? -------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? -------------------------------------------------------------------- Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane? -------------------------------------------------------------------- If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? -------------------------------------------------------------------- Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! -------------------------------------------------------------------- If Wiley E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME junk, why didn't he just buy dinner? -------------------------------------------------------------------- If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? -------------------------------------------------------------------- Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? -------------------------------------------------------------------- Why did you just try singing the two songs above? -------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your rear ? --------------------------------------------------------------------
August 12, 200619 yr Points to Ponder.... Can you cry under water? Yes, if not too deep and too much pressure. -------------------------------------------------------------------- How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? Be considered an ass ? -------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. . but it's only a penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? 1 to give and 1 to be heard ? -------------------------------------------------------------------- Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? No. You are clothed in how much you loved/cared/gave. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Why does a round pizza come in a square box? For the "dips". -------------------------------------------------------------------- What disease did cured ham actually have? Mad oig disease ? -------------------------------------------------------------------- How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? Rocket science. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours? They dreamt of being that way again ? -------------------------------------------------------------------- If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? Yes because judgements often don't consider hearing all sides. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? You get into a movie, you can turn off a tv. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? Men looking for women ? -------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway. Incase something happens when you bend over. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural? 1 hand ca ntake off bra but more need 2 for the panties. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? To toast the toaster and need new one. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane? Yes, if evryone pools together. -------------------------------------------------------------------- If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? Because he doesn't want to. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! Becasue Goofy is erect, behind Pluto. -------------------------------------------------------------------- If Wiley E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME junk, why didn't he just buy dinner? Less fun. -------------------------------------------------------------------- If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? I can't remember back that far. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Can't remember. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Why did you just try singing the two songs above? Can't remember. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your rear ? Assteroid will enter you rear, hemorrhoid will hemmorage it. -------------------------------------------------------------------- See above inserts.
August 12, 200619 yr Seek and you shall find..... Points to Ponder.... Can you cry under water? Yes -------------------------------------------------------------------- How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? Assassination is a calculated murder to remove a person of power or authority for a strategic gain. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. . but it's only a penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? I believe it equates to poker as if to antee up. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? No. But the devil wears prada. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Why does a round pizza come in a square box? It's a matter of folding. Try folding a circle pizza box then stacking them. -------------------------------------------------------------------- What disease did cured ham actually have? Dehydration. -------------------------------------------------------------------- How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? Physics was easier! -------------------------------------------------------------------- Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours? They lied. -------------------------------------------------------------------- If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? Yes. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? A TV is more of a tangible object. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? It's all about view and perspective. Ask an artist. Some people only see things one way. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway. They actually don't see you completely naked. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural? I guess the latter holds a lot more! -------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? It's called the 'feed the birds' setting. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane? No. They would not be driving their own car otherwise. No fuel has been saved other than them dying and no longer needing a car! -------------------------------------------------------------------- If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? I believe a second storm washed away the boat. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! Maybe they are in the same genus but different species. Some lizards do the same thing. -------------------------------------------------------------------- If Wiley E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME junk, why didn't he just buy dinner? There's only one road runner. Better question is what makes him think the road runner would taste so good! Looks rather boney - probably tastes gamey. -------------------------------------------------------------------- If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? Baby oil is noted for its recommended cosmetic application. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Yes. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Why did you just try singing the two songs above? It has to do with the way the brain processes comparisons. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your rear ? Because it feels like the largest cellesstial body you could even fathom when you're taking a crap. Comparitive to a very large piece of volcanic stone and minerals coming out of your butt!!! Very similar. --------------------------------------------------------------------
August 12, 200619 yr Why does Hogan reply to Tigerhawk's Posts when he can simply talk to here across the desk? Another point to ponder.
August 12, 200619 yr Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your rear ? Because it feels like the largest cellesstial body you could even fathom when you're taking a crap. Comparitive to a very large piece of volcanic stone and minerals coming out of your butt!!! Very similar i LMAO at this
August 12, 200619 yr Why does Hogan reply to Tigerhawk's Posts when he can simply talk to here across the desk? Another point to ponder. those were also funny
August 12, 200619 yr If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? If you strangle a smurf what color does it turn? People who can't see are blind and people who can't hear are deaf what do you call people who can't smell? Why is it called a T.V. set when there's only one? Why is it called alchoholics anonymous when the first thing you say is your name? Why are semi-trucks bigger than regular trucks? Why do they say an alarm clock is going OFF when it's really turning on? Why are boxing rings square? Why do drugstores make sick people walk all the way to the back of the store to buy their medicine while, healthy people can buy cigarettes in the front? Why is it that people point to their wrist when they want to know the time, but they don't point to their crotch to ask where the bathroom is? If anything is possible, is it possible that nothings possible? *runs away* /got nothing //just making a brief appearance
August 12, 200619 yr Why does Hogan reply to Tigerhawk's Posts when he can simply talk to here across the desk? Another point to ponder. Because he loves to type remember...
August 12, 200619 yr hmm...I'm half-tempted to try the "crying under water" thing someday. I've always wondered about that myself... hemorhoid(I know I spelled that wrong) and asteroid...haha, betcha scientists didn't notice that one..
August 13, 200619 yr Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. . but it's only a penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? one to initalize the thinking process and the other for you to blabber them out -G
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