This is the official quotes thread that you like, that make you think, or you think are just plain interesting/funny.I'll start things off.1) The purpose of life is a life of purpose.2) Never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by ignorance, indifference or stupidity.3) Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.4) Experience teaches you to recognise a mistake that you've made again.

hmmm....my teacher i think aimed this at me cuz i am really over weighteat to live not live to eat

Procrastination is alot like masturbation, it's all good until the end, but then realize that you just screwed yourself.

i have another masturbation thing....every time u masturbate God kills a kitten

1) There is nothing in this world that can't be solved by a suitable amount of high explosives.

 

2) It takes 23 muscles to frown, but only 6 to pull the pine out of a grenade.

 

3) If you see someone smile when everything goes wrong, then they have someone in mind to blame.

 

4) Just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean they are not out to get you.

 

5) Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.

 

6) Sometimes I wonder, how would they do that chalk outline thing if you push someone into a tree chipper?

 

7) Superior firepower is a diplomatic option!

 

Something i found funny:

 

You might be a little TOO Hooah if...

 

1. Your kids call the sandbox "NTC".

 

2. Your wife has mermites in the China Cabinet.

 

3. Your older kids call the youngest one "Cherry".

 

4. When your wife left you, you had a Change of Command.

 

5. Your wife carries a buttpack instead of a Gucci purse.

 

6. Your kids would rather get SIMNET than Nintendo 64.

 

7. When your family gets together, you call them "Slice Elements".

 

8. You butter your toast with a bayonet.

 

9. If your kids get a wrong answer in school they immediately drop and knock out 20.

 

10. Your personal license plate says "At Ease".

 

11. All of your kids' names begin with "AR".

 

12. Your grandmother won the Week of the Eagles.

 

13. Your POV has your name stenciled on the windshield.

 

14. Anyone using the TV remote control must dispatch it first.

 

15. Your kids are hand receipt holders.

 

16. Your kids practice Drill and Ceremony at recess.

 

17. Your dog's name is "Ranger".

 

18. Your kids pull night guard shifts by the mailbox.

 

19. Your wife has a better high and tight than your commander.

 

20. Your kids sound off with "Airborne" or "Air Assault" every time their left foot hits the ground.

 

21. Your wife won't buy anything unless it has a National Stock Number.

 

22. Your kids have to wax and buff the floor before going to school.

 

23. When your dog died, he got a 21 gun salute at Arlington.

 

24. Your kids call their teachers "REMFs" and the other kids at school "legs."

 

25. Your daughter's dolls wear starched uniforms.

 

26. Your daughter complained that her new Barbie's hair wasn't within regulation and then cut it.

 

27. If your kids fail a test, they get a Letter of Reprimand and an Article 15.

 

28. Your kids salute their grandparents.

 

29. Your kids get an LES with their allowance.

 

30. All your meals at home are MREs.

 

31. Your kids painted their Big Wheels camouflage and stuck bumper numbers on them.

 

32. All your household possessions were issued by CIF.

 

33. Your kids get sent to the "big house" at Leavenworth if they're disrespectful.

 

34. Your kids complain if they can't have gym class five days a week.

 

35. Everyone does six pullups before sitting down at the dinner table.

 

8)

Life's like a dick, when it gets hard, screw it.

-Flipster]i have another masturbation thing....every time u masturbate God kills a kitten

HAHAHA! Oh man... one time I found a picture that said something to the effect of "Everytime you masturbate, tiny little ninja's kill a poor innocent kitten." The picture showed a tiny, cute kitten running in grass and like... 2 ninjas, slightly bigger than the kittens head, on either side.

 

Oh man, , I wish I still had that picture.

hehehee the pic i saw was like a kitten on a grassy hill running away from like a monster made out of an oven mitt lol

The thing about the thing that you don't understand about the thing is what the thing is all about

ohhhh ahhhh

God does not play dice - A. Einstein.Counter quote: Enstein would roll over in his grave. Not only does God play dice, the dice are loaded.PS Sharpshooter, i didnt understand that USMilitary crap, not on eword. Especially becouse of the abreviations. Was that funny? For i dont know whether should i laugh and not remain behind...

I like my friends, but i trust my enemies. A friend can stab You in the back eventually. With an enemy, You always know where You stand.

uh yeah, i dont think gator would be to happy about those masturbation or wang quotes.....When in doubt, empty your magazinePS those huah jokes were funny

I am sure you have heard this "Do as I say ,Not as I do" :|

PS Sharpshooter, i didnt understand that USMilitary crap, not on eword. Especially becouse of the abreviations. Was that funny? For i dont know whether should i laugh and not remain behind...

yeah, they're quite funny. i showed it to my dad, who was in the army for a career, and he laughed a lot. i found them quite funny too. i guess you got to be in a military family to understand.

Some HitchHiker's Guide to the Galaxy Quotes:"There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable...There is another theory that states that this has already happened.""Anything that happens, happens...Anything that, in happening, causes something else to happen, causes something else to happen...Anything that in happening, causes itself to happen again, happens again...It doesn't necessarily do it in chronological order, though."

-UnwantedHero]

"Anything that happens, happens...

Anything that, in happening, causes something else to happen, causes something else to happen...

Anything that in happening, causes itself to happen again, happens again...

It doesn't necessarily do it in chronological order, though."

I would call it something that we were learning all last semester on ElectroDynamics.

Everything is 90% crap. Except crap. Crap is 100% crap.