you know you play FA to much if:

 

When you spot a small child riding a bicycle, you immediately run up and slap him/her and tell her to get a helmet.

 

In hospitals, you stick a giant red cross flag on the ground and begin hoarding the toilet paper, hoping to lend a hand.

 

Same place, but as you sit you see a man limp away with a cast on his leg. You scream "Stop and I'll treat you!!" at the top of your lungs, run up to him, crazy glue a splint to the cast, and run away.

 

You refuse to use binoculars, replying that you forgot to get Mark I when you woke up this morning.

 

In crowded streets, you drop little colored flags and dash off yelling "Request artillery fire at these coordinates!" into an imaginary radio.

 

You relentlessly search Ebay for an M79 so you can "take care of those god damned ants for the last time."

 

At football games, you confuse your friends by pointing at the players and constantly asking if FF is on.

 

You push random people down, yell "Owned you, noob!" and quickly spray paint a half-life logo on the ground beside them.

 

You never stand to close to windows. The snipers are everywhere.

 

You place a little green box on your front porch to take care of any traveling salesmen, Jehovah's Witnesses, etc.

 

When your in a street fight, you jump up and down, then fall to the ground weezing

 

When someone tells you there career is modelling you ask what hackjobs they've done, and are the reload anims for the ak47 up to scratch...

 

(excuse this 1) You've been cheating on your gf, she calls u a whore and you reply with "STFU N00B!

 

You kill ten people, then wonder when you will get your next skill.

 

You try to impress your girl-friend by jumping off a 5 story building, saying that you trained in battle feild agility.

 

You tape a bunch of toilt paper tubes together and wait out side on your front lawn hoping that someone calls for artillery.

 

When you go parachuting, the instructor keeps telling you to hit "E"...

 

...the the other instructor laughs and tells you to hit F10...

 

...then you pull your chute 1 cm from the ground and are ok.

 

You see film of a police bomb squad in operation and wonder why the reporter is not calling them heavy armor w***rs.

 

You write numerous letters to congressmen telling them the Army should get rid of the M16A2 because "3rb sux".

 

You wonder why everyone climbs ropes and ladders so slowly.

 

You tell people a car would be nice to have, but its a horrible idea because of the half-life engine.

 

Whenever life slows down or you are not really sure whats going on, you look up and to your right to check for a sign saying "warning: connection problem".

 

You get mad at Xmas time when your family opens up the green boxes you put around the tree, yelling at them, "WHY N00b? why the hell did you trip my clays?"

 

Your first aid kit is stocked with toilet paper and sulfer.

 

You break your leg, and suggest to the doctor that he put up a flag near your house so you don't have to walk so far.

 

When your mom enters your room, you say " Get outta my spawn dammit !!!!1"

 

When running, every hundred yards you crouch to get your breath back quicker.

 

When out in the open, you never move in a straightline, often jumping for no apparent reason, to avoid snipers

 

when u try to climb a ladder without using your hands...

 

when u wake up in hospital, youre amazed to hear uve broken ur arm. U thought only legs could get broken

 

when u see someone who isnt as strong as you, u shout 'ive got your back' and precede to follow them cloesly

 

when u see someone stronger than u, u yell 'cover me', then when they dont follow u mutter 'damn CS' under ur breath

 

when someone asks when a CD is going to be released, u reply 'they havent said, but theyre releasing a short CD with jsut some of the tracks on it'

 

when u see someone lying down asleep, u jump on top of them whilst yelling for a medevac

 

when u fall over, u dont try to get up for 10 secs, because 'it wouldnt let me anyway'

 

You call your younger siblings 'Freshmeat' and '(1)Freshmeat'

 

When you're outnumbered in a streetfight you yell 'TEAMS DAMMIT'.

 

when you get hit in the head with a snowball you yell "spammer!"

 

When you you play capture the flag in gym, you yell "This isn't TFC!"

 

For whatever reason, no matter where you go, no matter what you do, you always have knife.

 

You belive if you strip naked you can carry another gun

 

You use the word "credits" insted of dollors when talking about the price of something

 

When you gat hurt, you lie on the ground and shout "medic!" every few seconds

 

You refer to your friends as the "red team"

 

You refer to people you dislike as "blue team"

 

You wonder why real army artillery men arn't armed with m16's with m203's.

 

You see a group of soldiers, all armed with the same rifle. You assume the rifle must be a n00b gun.

 

You walk around real quiet when using a knife to chop veggies, assuming it'll help you chop them more effectivly.

 

You take a marksmanship course, and then wonder why a scope hasn't magically appeared on your revolver.

 

You take a class in leadership techniques when you want to increase your vocabulary.

 

After you finish talking, you wait 3 second before saying anything else.

 

When someone tells you to stop somthing you say "Its in the game noob!"

 

You look at an old pencil and yell out "this model sux"

 

You walk into your house and wonder why the architect didn't add in trenches, or a bombed out wall.

 

You jump out of your car and run to a flag poll, when someone walks by the flag, you kick them away. When asked why, you say "they were trying to cap the park"

 

You walk up to your girl firend and look her over, later, you say to your friends "the default model sucks, I need to get a new one

 

You visit a new city and you say "this map sucks, I'm goin back home"

 

After work you tell all your co-workers, gg! You throw the aspiren bottle into a room & go pow pow (flashbang). Your drunk & stumble you say "wtf lag". Your were under charged at the register & quickly get out goin "omg hax".

 

You go into a elevator again and moan "nooo, not iwo jima again!"

 

When you think that 70 yards is long range.

 

When you need a scope to see somthing 70 yards away.

 

When you blame your teams losing a football game on Lag.

 

When you tell people that they should use semi auto all the time because its more accurate.

 

When your index finger spasms when watching violent movies.

 

When you say that they should'nt turn up thier mouse sensativity too high in a football game because "thats what llamas do."

 

When you try to hit "k" to talk to somone, and "Y" when writing an essay.

 

When you wonder why winamp isnt running in the backround during a paintball match.

 

When you cant get into your bank account because "Your WON ID is in use."

 

You wonder why real parachutes don't hang magicaly in mid air.

 

when your in the army with a famas and hold down the trigger at someones head.

 

When you blame your not being able to readjust your move direction in mid-jump on "Unrealsitic physics"

 

When someone asks for your phone #, and you give them your wonid.

 

When your bleeding and out of toilet paper you rush the other players because you were gonna bleed to death anyway.

 

When you get sacked in a football game you say "I only had 5 HP anyway"

 

You ask the CO where you will spawn

 

During the battle, you yell out if FF is on.

 

After your buddy get's shot, you yell out that the enemy's gun is unballanced, then ask the admin to boot him.

 

During a lull in the battle, you think gravity is turned down and try to jump over a hill.

 

You wonder why your the only person who doesn't have a backpack on.

 

You wonder why the people who have M60s can move and fire.

 

When a sniper hits you in the leg behind a wall, instead of yelling out medic, you yell out aim bot!

 

When out of ammo, you search around for an ammo box

 

After you beat the enemy, you wonder why you don't respawn.

 

you think anyone not dressed like you is an enemy.

 

You paint something, and call it a new skin.

 

You play FA in your dreams

 

You paint a HUD and crosshair on your glasses becuse "things just don't look right without it!"

 

You call someone doing jumping jacks a bunnyhopper.

 

You wonder why they have to fly so high to parachute.

 

You yell a battlecry whenever you start to run.

 

You go up to a armed and armored SWAT unit and start telling them how "gay" CS is, and accuse them all of using "hax"

 

You wonder why dead bodies don't dissappear.

 

You find yourself pondering how much damage a .22 (or other non-fa cartridge) would do if it were put into FA when you can't sleep.

 

You call babies n00bs or freshmeat.

 

You want to buy a real gun, simply because you use it well in FA

 

Suddam Hussein loses the war and accuses the US of having "No recoil h4x!"

 

You're watching a knife fight on tv and wonder when the llama who messes up the fight will show up.

 

When the llama doesn't show up you think to yourself... "that is what heaven must be like..."

 

You take a stealth class and wait for your complimentary silencers to come in the mail.

 

You relentlessly search Ebay for an M79 so you can "take care of those god damned ants for the last time."

 

when someone finds you during a game of hide and seek you yell, omgwtfassf3g wallhaxing n00b!

 

When in court charged with the repeated stabbing of a co-worker, you claim 'i didnt know FF was on'

 

You call the SWAT teams "Camping n00bs" because they wait for the terrorist to poke his head near a window.

 

You constantly mutter "aimbot bs wth h4x" whenever anyone does better than you at ANYTHING.

 

You constantly yell at the teacher for being a "Math w****"

 

At busy street crosswalks, you have a habbit of throwing down little flags and running away giggling while talking into an imaginary radio.

 

You filled out your tax forms in l33t dialect.

 

When at the zoo, you visit the llama preservation and yell "But where are all the augs?!"

 

You give yourself a concussion trying to dash through a flagpole.

 

During the Boston Marathon, you are nearly trampled to death when you abruptly crouch down on the road to catch a breath.

 

You give a "Battle Cry" at inappropriate times, such as weddings, funerals, nursing home visits, and job interviews.

 

You stab several co-workers, but in court claim that you "didn't know FF was on..."

 

Back at the zoo, you break into a cage and steal a monkey. You run for the zoo exit, yelling "I'm the menkey!! Must reach safety!!!"

 

After winning a fight with a bully you pull out a spray can and cover the wall with your logo.

 

If you wife threatens to leave you.

 

When deciding what to wear for the day, you search franticly through your closet for a helmet.

 

You study books on leadership when you realize you have a small vocabulary.

 

Fed up with the ants in your lawn, you try to outfit your pesticide sprayer with an M-203.

 

You shoot a rubber band at someone and miss, causing you curse about how you would have got him if you had marksmanship I.

 

When you wake up and suddenly wonder where your crosshair went to.

 

Your Friends don't call anymore because they assume you will be playing

 

FA all night.

 

When asked what are you are going to do this weekend and you reply "Gonna go camp in a respawn with an m60".

 

You consider painting crosshairs on your glasses.

 

You survey your house for the most ideal sniping locations.

 

Your cat's name is menkey, your dog's name is berzerker and your wife threatened to leave you because you wanted to surgically attach a banana to menkey's head.

 

When someone with a fast car cuts you off on the highway you call them a "*car's model name* whore".

 

When you have to walk around outside, you check the buildings for snipers then run from bush to bush using them as cover.

 

You carry around rolls of toilet paper in case you get hurt.

 

When you broke your leg sking you curled up on the ground and yelled "medic!" every 10 seconds.

 

You dive into the shallow end of a swimming pool, thinking it will brake your fall.

 

When you try to parachute from a 12 meter high building.

 

When choosing your college major, you check the "other" box and write in Nomenclature.

 

You claim you were late for work because of "lag".

 

While getting dressed for work in the morning you calculate how many credits each piece of clothing will cost you and if you can wear the heavy

 

jacket with this pair of pants and a wallet.

 

When you have to swing on the rings at gymclass and you fall down but

 

you aren't hurt, you say "Yes guys, i have battlefield agility".

 

You have a special setting for different coffee setups and a default coffee cup.

 

When your wife takes too long in the bathroom and you call her a "lousy camper".

 

When your boss ticks you off, and as you walk away from his office, you scream "Request Artillery Fire at These Coordinates!"

 

You find yourself secretly wondering if all the Sergeants in the Army have in fact personally killed at least 10 people.

 

You feel obligated to call out the name of every kewl weapon you recognize in an action movie, so your friends will think you're 1337, or

 

even twice as good, 2674.

 

When you watch RAMBO I-III and wonder, why this guy CAN´T bunnyhop with his M60.

 

When you call the new apprentice "FRESHMEAT".

 

When you see fireworks and you crouch behind the nearest bush shouting "UNDER HEAVY FIRE".

 

When you start dis-associating the word llama with an animal all together.

 

When the new person at work goes to ask a question, but before they speak you shout "Get chute, use in air, use on ground".

 

When you find out that your medic arm patch made form napkins and red crayon wont allow you to save your hamster, Mr. Bojangles, from all the BB shots you fired at it.

 

When you know Not even a aug can stop your rampage...but then you realize you were just dreaming on your keyboard and you wake up to find yourself killed by a aug the past 10 minutes you've been asleep.

 

You try to full auto snipe a famas your gonna hit the guy twice in the leg maby once in the head and get outsniped by his knife you try to full auto snipe a famas your gonna hit the guy twice in the leg maby once in the head and get outsniped by his knife.

 

you wonder why, when u crawl to the crest of a hill, anyone u can see can see u too

 

you blame CS for the existance of terrorists

 

when u get hurt, and someone asks 'are u ok?' you reply '80hp'

 

You watch The Matrix and call Neo a "speedhacking aimbot h4x n00b".

rofl! that is the greatest! i love the one about the greenbox and the m79.

Funny.Egidio.

Sad to say, I'm guilty of at least 10 of those... Including writing a few things in L337 5p34k

proper etiquette says you cite your source, otherwise you're stealing.

hahaha, that is good. "MEDIC!!" "OVER HERE I'M A MEDIC!" "AAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" lol too funny!

Yeah how about when I talk about my Girlfriend to my buddy Chris, "She's nice, but the default model sucks."

lol

Very nice, but can you give us the long version

Oh I get it Gator it took me like 25 minutes to read it all.

proper etiquette says you cite your source, otherwise you're stealing.

exactly

 

actually, which of the fifty billion times this was posted on the fa forums, various fa sites would he attribute it to?

 

this instance is the 7th time I've seen it this month

Roflll

heh didnt kno about the FA forums, this is just an old text file i found whilst clering up my HD last night after YET another steam crash

Shotty this was a very thought out thread GOOD JOB,,I laughed for an hour ,, BUTTT I think there is a few that you missed

ya, you should refer back to where u got it fromThe first one alone shows it was based on a past version